Do you ever feel like your living just to get through one busy day followed by a busier one? I keep looking for the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel only to have it appear further in the distance.
Today was to be it, the end of a busy, busy week. (because I work at a church I consider Sunday my Friday) Last week was Pearl's birthday, Pearl's graduation, a children's ministry conference, family in town, and wrapping it up was a Sunday spent teaching two services in a row (unplanned) a family get together followed by Compass' Vision Celebration service. I shared a bit of "My Story". Talking in front of more than a hundred people and trying to be completely "authentic" was a stretch! I began crying before I even spoke. I don't cry. During worship when a song touches me to tears I fight it, sometimes to the point of getting up to "check on the children".
So it was big for me. I needed to do it and feel a great sense of accomplishment and relief. I had it all written out and had shown it to Mav. He asked me to read it for him so we could see how long it was. I couldn't, I told him I only had it in me to read it aloud one time and I'd have to save that for the service.
Now just as the "light" was within reach I realize how much I need to do to prepare for Art Camp next week. Not a moment to spare.
I also am forced to tackle the truth about whether or not I can keep this pace up. I am struggling now- what will it look like when we have a new baby in the fall?
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
The picture above was taken at Ruth's VMS graduation. Her and her friend Cassandra are holding Pearl. Pearl is 2 days old.
Tomorrow is Pearl's graduation from Montessori school. She has been in the Sunflower class room 3 full years. Yesterday was her birthday celebration. She carried the globe around the 'sun' (a candle) 6 times, while we all sang "the earth goes around the sun, the earth goes around the sun, it takes 12 months for the earth to go around the sun." Her confidence, joy and pride were evident.
Tomorrow is also Grace's last day at Vancouver Montessori School. She had one year. It is hard to pull her out before she had all three years as Pearl and Ruth both got. Economics, distance, time and a new baby in the fall all contributed to the decision. I am sad. Yet of all three girls I believe Grace needed it less, or rather needed it for other reasons. I mentioned Pearl's confidence, Grace doesn't lack that to begin with. She does however need the stimulation and freedom with in consistent boundaries that Montessori provided.
I have my work cut out for me home schooling these two. I am not waiting until the fall to begin. With the arrival of Dotti in late September, I need to be prepared and ahead of the game long before then.
Pearl will eagerly learn from me. My personal attention keeps her captive. Grace unfortunately doesn't like me to show/teach her anything. She likes learning on her own. I am going to have to develop ways to teach her non directly, where she can observe with out being "shown."
Monday, June 8, 2009
Something about feeling a baby wiggling within me is magical. I love it. That feeling is actually one that during my difficulties getting and staying pregnant I longed for most. Now here she is, making her presence known. I don't want to take one movement for granted.