Friday, September 24, 2010
"I feel so carefree and happy not worrying about food all the time."
"I am a mama, my girls don't care about my weight, Mav loves me no matter what. I don't need to try to be someone other than who I am."
"Life is too short and denying myself the things I want just makes me grouchy, I am a better mama/wife when I am happy."
None of those thoughts are untrue. Yet the even bigger truth is being heavy is not healthy for me nor a healthy model for my children. Yes Mav's love is unconditional, but that is no excuse to give up being attractive to him. The biggest truth is I see throughout my thoughts is that some how I equate food with happiness. I'd like to deny it, but truthfully when I am with my family eating yummy foods it does make me happy. I have struggled with anger and depression issues for years, anti depressants have saved my life. So denying myself something that makes me actually feel and act better is hard and makes me wonder why I would. I know food will always let me down in the long run. I know it is a rocky relationship, abusive even. But I keep going back with the hope this time it will be different.